Prestigious Pigeon Position Propositions
HELP WANTED: Ghetto Pigeons is expanding yet again. For the next 30 calendar days, our Avian Resources Department Representatives will be aggressively seeking out qualified applicants to fill the 25 openings created by our newly formed Minor League Racing Team.
The successful candidates will possess the following superlative attributes: 1) Fast flyer; 2) NOT directionally challenged; 3) Willing to work for peanuts.
Job Description: Must fly home as rapidly as possible, taking no wrong turns along the way. Must be able to make critical decisions quickly and on the fly, always arriving at home loft in better than reasonable time periods. Hirees are expected to work diligently with little or no supervision, completing all flights without the assistance of written directions, verbal instructions, or maps.
Generous compensation package includes: 1) Full room and board; 2) Paid Maternity/Paternity Leave; 3) All the peanuts you can eat. Advancement opportunities imminent.
On-the-spot interviews commencing immediately at your local public park. (Just look for the guy with the bag of peanuts.)
NOTE: Pedigreed individuals need not apply. (HINT: The bird at the bottom left of this page has all the correct answers for the interview questions.)